Simpsons

EP 501 - Homer's Barbershop Quartet (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 9-30-93
Chalkboard : I WIll Never Win An Emmy
Couch : The family runs into each other and shatter "take two", the family runs into each other and forms a huge blob "take three", the family runs into each other and explode
Production Code : 9F21

Bart and Lisa are going through some old records at the Springfield swap meet and uncover an album with Homer on the cover. Homer tells the story of his barbershop quartet with Principal Skinner, Chief Wiggum and Apu. They originally just got together and sang, but one day a record exec heard them and said that they would be huge, but they just have to replace Wiggum. Wiggum is replaced by Barney and they choose the name, The Be Sharps. The band goes on to have huge success and even wins a Grammy award. Fame is short lived though, as the songs get crappier and Barney falls in love with a beatnik asian woman. The Be Sharps break up and fall off the face of the Earth. After Homer is finished telling the story the Be Sharps reunite on top of Moe's and sing together again. Goofs:

"The Be Sharps" appears on a church sign before the group even picks their name. Trivia: This show is full of Beatles references/spoofs:

The album cover

The screaming fans at the airport

Barney's girlfriend is like Yoko Ono

Performing on the rooftop

George Harrison makes a guest appearance

Director

Mark Kirkland

Guest Stars

Writer

Jeff Martin

EP 502 - Cape Feare (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 10-7-93
Chalkboard : The Cafeteria Deep Fryer Is Not A Toy
Couch : The Simpson's start doing a Rockette's dance and are later joined by a whole bunch of circus performers in the background
Production Code : 9F22

Bart starts to receive death threats in the mail and becomes paranoid of everybody, because he doesn't know who is behind the threats. It turns out to be Sideshow Bob who is writing the letters from prison and is up for parole. His parole is granted and he runs into the Simpsons at a movie theatre. The Simpson's are worried, so they are put into a witness protection program and have to move onto a house boat on Terror Lake and change their name to the Thompsons. Bob follows them by clinging to the bottom of their car. Bob finally gets his chance to kill Bart while the family is cruising on their houseboat. Bob has everyone tied up and is about to kill Bart, but Bart has a last request for Bob to perform a musical number. The act stalls Bob until they reach land where Cheif Wiggum and the rest of the police force is there to arrest Sideshow Bob. Goofs:

The name of the prison Bob is held in changes to Springfield State Penitentiary from Springfield Prison Trivia:

This episode contains a lot of elements from the Martin Scorcese film, Cape Fear.

Director

Rich Moore

Guest Star

Kelsey Grammar

Writer

Jon Vitti

EP 503 - Homer Goes To College (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 10-14-93
Chalkboard : none
Couch : The family sits on the couch and gets crushed by a huge foot
Production Code : 1F02

Homer has to go back to college after failing a test at work. Mr. Burns has to get Homer into a college, because all the colleges Homer applied to rejected him. Homer has a stereotypical hollywood image of what college should be like, so he immediately makes fun of the nerds and has a grudge against the Dean. The Dean tells Homer to get some help from a few nerds after he nearly destroys the school in a nuclear demonstration. Homer tries to teach the nerds how to have a good time, so he decides that they will all pull a prank and steal another college's mascot. Thier plan goes wrong and they get expelled. Homer invites the nerds to stay at his house where they annoy the hell out of the rest of the family. Homer decides that he needs to get the nerds back into college, so he makes a plan for the nerds to save the Deans life. The nerds fail and the Dean ends up in the hospital, but Homer explains everything and the Dean reinstates the nerds. Homer was too busy making up pranks and forgot to study for his exam. He fails the exam, but the nerds change his grade with a computer. Marge finds out and makes Homer take the class again. Notes:

This episode ran long so there is no chalkboard gag (and an overall shortened intro) Trivia:

This episode parodies a lot of stuff from National Lampoons' Animal House.

Director

Jim Reardon

Writer

Conan O'Brien

EP 504 - Rosebud (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 10-21-93
Chalkboard : none
Couch : When the family enters the room the find clones of themselves sitting on the couch
Production Code : 1F01

When Mr. Burns was a child (before he was rich) he had a stuffed bear named Bobo. When he was taken away to live with his new rich family he left it behind. Now Mr. Burns is having dreams about Bobo and wishes to have the bear back. Burns' birthday is coming up and there is going to be a big banquet. Burns sees Homer at work being the class clown, so he invites Homer to do a comedy routine at the banquet. Mr. Burns is disgusted by Homer's material at the banquet and he was also disgusted by a performance by the Ramones, all he wants is his bear back. We now see what the bear has been up to over the past century and it ends up in a bag of ice that Homer picks up from the Kwik-E-Mart. When Homer discovers the bear he just tosses it to Maggie. Burns appear on the news to issue a reward for his lost bear, and when Homer finds out that the bear he gave Maggie is really Bobo he knows that he is sitting on a gold mine. Burns offers a million dollars, but when Homer tries to take the bear from Maggie she starts to cry. Homer sympathizes with his daughter and rejects Burns' offer. Burns then retaliates by stopping all the bear shipments and T.V channels to break Homer. The townspeople are now very angry and try to take the bear away from Maggie, but they too can't resist Maggies love for the bear. Mr. Burns finally gives in after unsuccessfully trying to steal Bobo, but Maggie gives him the bear anyways and he vows to be a good person for the rest of his life. Notes:

This episode ran long and had a lot of the opening credits cut out, including the chalkboard gag. Trivia:

This episode is based upon the movie Citizen Kane. The main character went through similar events as Mr. Burns trying to find a lost childhood artifact. In Kane's case it was his lost sled, "Rosebud" (hence the title of this episode).

Director

Wesley Archer

Guest Star

The Ramones

Writer

John Swartzwelder

EP 505 - Treehouse Of Horror IV (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 10-28-93
Chalkboard : none
Couch : The Simpsons are zombies
Production Code : 1F04

The Devil And Homer Simpson While Homer is sleeping on the job, Lenny and Carl eat all the donuts. Homer wakes up and wants one really badly, so he sells his soul for a donut. The Devil appears (it's Ned Flanders) and gives Homer a Donut, but he can't finish the whole thing or else he will be sent to hell. Homer keeps the last piece in the fridge with notes warning him not to eat it, but he wakes up in the middle of the night for a midnight snack and eats the last bite. The Devil arrives to bring Homer to hell, but Lisa says he has the right to a fair trial. The Devil agrees, but Homer still has to stay in hell until the trial starts and undergoes some hellish torture. The trial is held in the Simpson house with Lionel Hutz as Homer's lawyer. Hutz is useless, so Marge saves the day by proving that Homer already gave his soul to her by signing it over on the back of a wedding picture. Terror At 5 And A Half Feet Bart has a dream about dying in a school bus crash. His dream starts to come true in the morning when he is on the bus and looks out the window to see a small gremlin clawing at the side of the bus. He tries to warn everyone, but they all think he's crazy. Bart continues to see the gremlin slowly destroyng the bus, and everyone is still ignoring him, so he decides to take matters into his own hands. Bart grabs a flare and tosses it at the gremlin knocking it off the bus. When the bus reaches the school everyone sees the damage, but Bart is still taken away to the crazy house. Bart Simpson's Dracula There is a news report about people getting killed and having their blood drained. Lisa has her suspicions that it is a vampire. There is also a news report about Mr. Burns buying the local blood bank, and guess what, the Simpsons are going to Burns' creepy country home for dinner. Lisa still has her suspicions and at dinner she sneaks away with Bart and they stumble upon Burns' secret hideout. They find out that Burns' really is a vampire, and Bart gets bit and becomes a vampire too. Homer doesn't believe Lisa about Mr Burns and Bart, so they go back home. At home Bart tries to bite Lisa, but Homer walks in and discovers the truth about Bart. Lisa explains that they have to kill the head vampire (Burns) to get Bart back to normal. They go back to Burns' place and kill him, but back at home Lisa discovers that everyone is a vampire and the head vampire is really Marge. Trivia:

Uter is eating a Vengelerstrasse Bar on the bus. It translates to "Butterfinger" in english, a chocolate bar that the Simpsons promote.

Director

David Silverman

Guest Star

Phil Hartman

Writers

EP 506 - Marge on the Lam (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 11-5-93
Chalkboard : None
Couch : The family runs through the wall.
Production Code : 1F03

Homer promises Marge he will pick her up and take her to the ballet. However, he gets his hands stuck in a vending machine and is late to pick her up. Ruth Powers comes over and Marge invites her to go to the ballet. They both have a wonderful time. Against Homer's objections, Marge decides to go out with Ruth the next night where they end up in a high-speed chase. Homer, using a megaphone, convineces Marge and Ruth to stop because they are heading right toward the edge of a cliff. Marge and Ruth stop while Homer and Chief Wiggum go flying into a dump. Meanwhile, Lionel Hutz is babysitting the kids. Notes:

The ending of the show, including the credits were a parody of Dragnet. Goofs:

Lionel Hutz throws identical piles of things into the fire three times. Trivia:

The man that is in the bar that is standing beside the man who hits on Marge is an animated David Mirkin, who was show runner at the time.

The plot of this movie was based on the movie Thelma and Louise.

Director

Mark Kirkland

Guest Stars

Writer

Bill Canterbury

EP 507 - Bart's Inner Child (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 11-11-93
Chalkboard : None
Couch : There is a fat man sitting on the couch and the family has to force their way on to the couch.
Production Code : 1F05

Homer buys a trampoline and all the kids in Springfield get severely injured on it. Marge makes Homer get rid of the trampoline. As a result, Homer tells Marge she is no fun. Marge gets self-help videos from Patty and Selma and her relationship with Homer improves. The family goes to a clinic and Bart acts troublesome. The speaker has Bart come on stage and tells everyone in Springfield they should act like Bart. Springfield begins to do exactly what he says but they all realize they are acting like fools when a riot breaks out at the "Do What You Feel" Festival. Notes:

Albert Brooks is credited as A. Brooks.

The line, "The bandstand wasn't double-bolted" (James Brown) was a phrase used around the staff office when something would spill or fall. Goofs:

James Brown is singing but none of the people in his band are playing their instruments. Trivia:

Homer pushes the trampoline off the cliff similiar to the way things fall of cliffs in Road Runner.

Director

Bob Anderson

Guest Stars

Writer

George Meyer

EP 508 - Boy-Scoutz 'N The Hood (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 11-18-93
Chalkboard : none
Couch : The family's eyes all run in darkness - and when the lights come on, the bodies run in after the eyes. The bodies sit down on the couch and lean forward, sticking their eyes in their sockets.
Production Code : 1F06

Once Bart finds some money on the street, he experiments with an all-syrup Squishee along with Milhouse where they run around singing and having all sorts of adventures. The end result leaves Bart joining the Junior Campers whilst Milhouse winds up on a boat. Bart doesn't like being a Camper and is about to leave until he finds out he'll be allowed to carry a knife around after a while. As soon as the Father and son rafting trip comes up though, Bart soon regrets staying at the Junior Campers when his embarrasing Dad gets the navagation wrong and sends Flanders and his kids along with both Simpsons into the middle of nowhere. Luckily Homer smells a nearby Krusty Burger and saves the day. Notes:

This episode ran long so there is no chalkboard gag (and an overall shortened intro) Goofs:

The Squishy machine appears to have a purple flavour and a red flavour, but the squishy Bart gets is green.

Bart's and Milhouse's tattoos disappear in the scene immediately after they get them, when Barney is walking behind them. Trivia:

The pimple-faced worker is seen twice in this episode. He works at both the video arcade and at the new Krusty Burger.

EP 509 - The Last Temptation of Homer (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 12-9-93
Chalkboard : All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
Couch : The Simpsons run in and the living room is different. The camera pans to the right showing David Letterman, who turns around and smiles.
Production Code : 1F07

When a new worker named Mindy starts working for the plant, Homer think he's falling in love with her. He tries forgetting about her, and at one time had prepared a speech for her on his hand. He became extremely nervous though, and the sweat made his writing incoherent. When both Homer and Mindy are chosen to represent the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant at the National Energy Convention in Capital City, Homer realises they have a lot in common and he begins to have 'sexy thoughts' about Mindy. Once Homer finds out she feels the same way, he faces a difficult choice. However, through it all Homer stays loyal to his wife Marge. Guest Stars:

Werner Klemperer

Director

Carlos Baeza

Guest Stars

Writer

Frank Mula

EP 510 - $pringfield (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 12-16-93
Chalkboard : I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
Couch : They run into one another, smashing into little peices. Santa's Little Helper sniffs around them.
Production Code : 1F08

Mr. Burns opens up his own casino once gambling is legalized in Springfield, hiring Homer as a blackjack dealer despite his poor mathematics. Marge goes to the casino to collect Homer one evening, and becomes heavily addicted to the slot machines. Homer notices this and tries to get her to give up her addiction. Meanwhile, Bart opens up his own casino in the treehouse, where he has all kinds of entertainment such as magic tricks. Luckily he doesn't end up as insane as Mr. Burns who stops cutting his hair and becomes mad because he owns a casino. Guest Stars:

Robert Goulet

Gerry Cooney

Director

Wesley Archer

Writers

EP 511 - Homer the Vigilante (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 1-06-94
Chalkboard : I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
Couch : They run into each other and explode, then Maggie's pacifier hits the floor of the blackened room.
Production Code : 1F09

An elderly cat burglar named Molloy is moving around different houses stealing the citizen's pride possesions. Homer is outraged and forms a citizens' watch group. Unfortunately they end up breaking more rules than they protect whilst trying to find the robber. As this is going on, Molloy still commits crimes, taking Springfield's most valuable items. But when he goes after the biggest one of them all - the world's biggest cubic zirconia, housed in the Springfield Museum it ends up pear-shaped for Molloy. He has to return everything he has stolen. Guest Stars

Sam Neil

Director

Jim Reardon

Writer

John Swartzwelder

EP 512 - Bart Gets Famous (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 2-03-94
Chalkboard : My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
Couch : They run in, collide, and land as one big peice of family on the couch.
Production Code : 1F11

Bart lands a dream job as Krusty the Clown's assistant. But a bigger opportunity was staring Bart in the face when he accidently knocked a stage's set down at work. With the audience looking at the young boy, all he could say about the incident was "I didn't do it." Which had them all holding their sides from the laughter. Bart became a huge star, bigger than anyone could believe. He even had his own television show. Everyone wanted to hear him say those four words -- I didn't do it. The catchphrase was massive, until one night. Unenthusiastically, Bart said it to a crowd who suddenly realised, the catchprase wasn't even that funny.

Director

Susie Dietter

Guest Stars

Conan O'Brien

Writer

John Swartzwelder

EP 513 - Homer and Apu (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 2-10-94
Chalkboard : I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
Couch : In order, Homer, Bart, Marge, and Lisa pop their heads up from behind the couch one at a time, then there's a short pause before Maggie comes out from between the cushions.
Production Code : 1F10

Apu loses his job at the Kwik-E-Mart after Homer eats a hotdog unsuitable for purchasing. As an apology to Homer, Apu becomes his personal chef and valet, moving into the house. The actor James Woods replaces Apu at the convenience store. Apu is struggling to come to terms with the situation, and realises that he needs the Kwik-E-Mart in his life. So he goes on a journey to the world's first Kwik-E-Mart, high up in the hills of India. Homer comes along with him, and ends up ruining the chance for Apu to have his store back. He returns to Springfield as miserable as ever, but when he saves James Woods' life after a failed robbery, he eventually gets his job back. Guest Stars:

James Wood

Director

Mark Kirkland

Writer

Greg Daniels

EP 514 - Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 2-17-94
Chalkboard : none
Couch : The family sits on the couch and gets crushed by a huge foot.
Production Code : 1F12

Lisa is playing with one of her many Malibu Stacy toys one day, and realises that her favourite doll is setting a bad example for girls everywhere. She is heartbroken by some of the stuff Malibu Stacy says, and is quick to contact the creator of the doll, Stacy Lovell. After Lisa gets her message across to her, they come up with their own doll - named Lisa Lionheart who is a good influence on girls. It's almost a huge success, until corporate henchmen and women behind Malibu Stacy create a new Malibu Stacy (with a hat) which knocks Lisa Lionheart out of commision. Lisa is not so disappointed though, when one girl buys her doll. She says it was all worth while in the end if she could reach just one person. Guest Stars

Kathleen Turner

Director

Jeffrey Lynch

Writers

EP 515 - Deep Space Homer (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 2-24-94
Chalkboard : none
Couch : There is a fat man sitting on the couch and the family has to force their way on to the couch.
Production Code : 1F13

For NASA to be more appealing towards the common man, they employ Homer and Barney to work for them. After a rigorous training session it is completely obvious that Barney will be the one going to space. Unfortunately he 'falls off the wagon' though, and Homer is sent up instead. Fellow astronauts Buzz Aldrin and James Taylor soon realise that Homer is awful in space - causing many accidents and endagering their lives. When he breaks the handle off the outer door, they all look doomed. Everyone expects them to die, until Homer's quick thinking pays off. He grabs an inanimate carbon rod which holds the door closed and allows them to return safely. Once they land back on Earth Homer is mistified when he finds out the rod is getting all the praise, and not himself. Guest Stars:

Buzz Aldrin

James Taylor

Director

Carlos Baeza

Writer

Dave Mirkin

EP 516 - Homer Loves Flanders (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 2-24-94
Chalkboard : I am not delightfully saucy.
Couch : There are two couches side by side, they're split in half with half of each member going to a different couch.
Production Code : 1F14

Homer spends a lot of time with Ned Flanders after finding out that he has football season tickets. In a short space of time though, Homer really does begin to like Flanders, who on the other hand isn't too sure if his new friendship is so great. When both the Simpsons and the Flanders go on a joint camping trip his animosity for Homer grows until it dawns on him: he hates his neighbor. Of course being the Christian that he is, Ned doesn't want to hurt Homer's feelings though, and tries to gently let him down every time he can't do something with Homer. But he can't hold it in for too long, finally snapping at the Springfield Community Church. The entire congregation looks down on Ned, who is then defended by Homer. They remain friends, until Homer finds out that he doesn't actually like Ned after all.

Director

Wesley Archer

EP 517 - Bart Gets an Elephant (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 3-31-94
Chalkboard : Organ transplants are best left to the professionals.
Couch : The family's eyes all run in darkness - and when the lights come on, the bodies run in after the eyes. The bodies sit down on the couch and lean forward, sticking their eyes in their sockets.
Production Code : 1F15

Bart enters a popular radio station competition and wins a prize of his choice. It's down to either an elephant, or $10,000. The presenters had predicted that the caller would choose the money, as nearly every sane person would. But Bart picks the gag prize, and despite Bill & Marty's pleading for him to accept the cash, they had no choice but to give him the elephant. "Stampy" sends the Simpsons into a financial crisis though, and they are forced to sell the elephant. An ivory dealer quickly jumps at the opportunity, and Homer agrees to the sale. However Bart sets Stampy free, where he finds a nice home at an animal refuge.

EP 518 - Burns' Heir (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 4-14-94
Chalkboard : The pledge of allegiance does not end with hail Satan.
Couch : They bounce into the living room in a ball-shape, unforming when they land on the couch.
Production Code : 1F16

Mr Burns realises that he has no child to pass the business onto when he dies, and he's got no one to give his fortune to. In a bid to gain the position of Burns' Heir, nearly every kid in Springfield shows up for an audition where Burns would choose a suitable candidate to give his belongings to in the future. Bart is picked after a powerful performance which took place after the audition, where he showed his true colors smashing things in Burns' yard. Taking Bart under his wing, Burns tried to turn him into one of his own. In fact, he ends up liking him so much that he manages to get Bart to leave his family. But when he has to fire Homer, he doesn't have the heart to do it. And goes back to his home giving up the fortune.

Director

Mark Kirkland

Writer

Jace Richdale

EP 519 - Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 4-28-94
Chalkboard : I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
Couch : They sit on the couch and a FOX logo appears on the bottom right hand corner, Homer gets up, takes it off and stomps on it.
Production Code : 1F18

When Bart brings his dog into school for show and tell during one of Super Intendant Chalmers inspections, it suddenly disappears into the ventilation ducts. Skinner panics and sends Willie up after Santa's Little Helper, but as soon as Chalmers is about to leave, the gym is almost destroyed and Chalmers is raging. That is until the dog falls on him, and he shows a loving side. Which only lasts a few seconds because a greasy Scotsman lands on him afterwards, and Skinner gets fired. After a while he misses his job so much, and enrolls himself into the army. However Bart feels guilty about what he's done and forms an alliance with Skinner as they plan to get rid of new principal Ned Flanders, with Skinner back in charge. Once they've done this though, they go back to being enemies.

EP 520 - The Boy Who Knew Too Much (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 5-5-94
Chalkboard : There are plenty of businesses like show business.
Couch : The Simpsons run in and the living room is different. The camera pans to the right showing David Letterman, who turns around and smiles.
Production Code : 1F19

Mayor Quimby's newphew Freddy has allegedley assaulted a French butler. He gets taken to court, and the evidence is stacked against Freddy Quimby, making it seem more likely that he is guilty. However, Bart was the only witness there and knows that he did not touch the butler at all. He knows Freddy Quimby is innocent, but is cautious about telling the jury because then Principal Skinner would know Bart skipped school, although he already seems to know this. Bart comes clean though, and gets Freddy off the hook. As a result of his honesty, Skinner only gives Bart four months detention.

EP 521 - Lady Bouvier's Lover (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 5-12-94
Chalkboard : I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball.
Couch : They run into one another, smashing into little peices. Santa's Little Helper sniffs around them.
Production Code : 1F21

Marge has an idea of setting Grandpa Simpson up with her mother, Jacqueline Bouvier. They start dating and have lots of fun together. One evening, they go dancing where Mr. Burns cuts in on a dance. Showing impressive moves, Mrs. Bouvier takes to Mr. Burns and shocks everyone by accepting Mr. Burns' marraige proposal. During the wedding though, Grandpa stops everything before she becomes Mrs. Burns. She says she doesn't want to marry him any more, but she doesn't want to marry Abe either. Who says he's fine with that, as they run off to a bus where they awkwardly travel off together.

EP 522 - Secrets of A Successful Marriage (needs to be ported to the wiki!)

Air Date : 5-19-94
Chalkboard : Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
Couch : They run into each other and explode, then Maggie's pacifier hits the floor of the blackened room.
Production Code : 1F20

Homer teaches a class on how to have a successful marriage. His personal stories about himself and Marge intreuge his pupils, and Homer thinks he's pretty good at being a teacher. However, Marge finds out what Homer has done and tells him to stop dishing out private information about them. Unfortunately, Homer can't stop using Marge as his example in class and ironically gets kicked out of the house. After living in Bart's treehouse for a while, Homer realises that Marge means everything to him, and as soon as Homer apologizes to her about it all, she comes to the same conclusion and allows him to move back in.

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