Bob: You ever known a siren to be good? No, Mr Simpson, it’s not. It’s a bad siren. That’s the computer in case I went blind telling me, “Sell the vehicle to this fella and you’re out of business!” That’s what the siren says. It seems the Ultimate Behemoth is a wee bit out of your price range, and “wee bit” is me being polite. You couldn’t afford this thing if you lived to be a million.
Discussing where babies come from:
Lisa: I heard a hideous story about it once in the schoolyard.
Marge: Oh. Well, it’s true, I’m afraid.
TV report on Bigfoot (Homer):
Anchorman: Bigfoot, legendary half-man half-ape, is no longer a legend. He’s very, very real. Now, the naturalist who took these absolutely extraordinary pictures was most impressed by the creature’s uncivilised look, its foul language, and most of all, its indescribable stench. A popular supermarket tabloid has offered a reward of five thousand dollars to anyone who brings in the creature alive. Naturally, we’ll have more on this story as it develops. We now return you to the President’s address, already in progress.
Lisa: Remember Dad, the handle of the Big Dipper points to the North Star..
Homer: That’s nice, Lisa. But we’re not in astronomy class – we’re in the woods.
Homer and Marge watch a press conference on the TV by scientists about their report on Homer:
Marvin Monroe: Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished colleagues, after extensive biological and anatomical testing I regret to announce that the evidence we have is inconclusive.
Scientist 1: That’s what he thinks. I say it’s none other than Bigfoot in the flesh.
Scientist 2: Oh no, I disagree, I think it is a man. The eyes have a glimmer of human intelligence.
Scientist 3: Glimmer in the eyes… What about the sloping ape-like forehead?
Homer: Oh, the guys at work are going to have a field day with this.